Due to the influence or absence of the growth environment and experience, as well as the psychological changes caused by premature traumatic stimulation, it has brought many influences and obstacles to the life and work of the person involved. It seems that the age is very mature, but the actions or speech still remain in adolescence or adolescence. It is naive, it is difficult to adapt to your life circle, which brings you a lot of psychological confusion and helplessness, what is the reason for your thinking to stagnate, and who is affecting your growth psychology. I have seen such a visitor, his marriage has not been very smooth, and it is difficult to find his true love. When we first contacted each other, we cherished each other very much, but in the gradual contact, I do not know why the other party alienated me, and now I feel very happy about marriage. It’s fear, afraid to talk about marriage, but I don’t know why, and my heart is demanding to find my true love. Through consultation and communication, I know that the client seldom communicated with his father when he was a child, and his father was also very strict and conservative, and seldom communicated with his daughter. This also caused the client to have a heart-to-heart distance from his father since he was a child. Just like what the client said in the consultation, he can’t understand himself in love, and he is always looking for a fatherly lover intentionally or unintentionally. Only in this way can he find a kind of sustenance and comfort. I’m looking for a “father”. I want to get fatherly love from the other party, and I want to be coquettish and willful to be a little girl. At first, the other party can accept it, but after a long time, I can’t stand it and then I run away. I don’t know why. It will be like this, when the other party asks if he loves, he has no doubts. He really loves and enjoys the feeling of being together. This is also what we usually call “Electra”. In other words, it is also an “Oedipus” plot, because during the growth process of girls (boys), they can never achieve psychological separation from their fathers (mothers), including parents (mothers). Too much or too little parental love for female (boy) children, or the pain of the impact on the child because of the parents themselves.
There is also the fact that children lose their parents’ love prematurely or the lack of one parent when they grow up, which often causes children to transfer their love for their parents to someone in reality, or experience great stimulation and setbacks when they are young, especially for The child’s self-esteem and consciousness leave trauma to the child’s heart. Parents often quarrel or accuse and complain about the child, which will inadvertently leave a mark on the child’s heart. After the child grows up, it will wake up at a certain moment, so that the child will be awakened. It’s hard to accept and suffer. Here, it’s more or less difficult for parents to shirk their responsibilities. It’s like the so-called popular extramarital affairs or adults who don’t find it much. They don’t like this way of life, but they have their own helplessness deep inside. It takes time to re-understand and straighten things out, not the so-called big truth that can make the client recover, because the person he loves or the child in his heart has always followed him, or the client himself is also a victim. If a child does not establish a good intimate relationship with his parents in childhood or childhood, the child will lack a sense of inner security, often rejecting or avoiding all uncertain factors, especially the relationship with his parents did not develop well when he was a child, and gradually separated as he grew up It will make the child feel anxious and insecure. Even if he enters the marriage, he will demand more care, love and tolerance from his lover. In work and study, he can also feel the pressure and helplessness on him, and he has never been satisfied. I’ve been complaining about other people’s faults, I hope they can spend more time with me, I hope others can look at me differently, I hope I’m the center of everyone, and I’m taken care of like a star, but who has the patience? “Plot” is not equal to “love”. A mature love is not entirely based on “plot”. If you want to have your own true love, and to get your inner demanding, the first thing is to let yourself “break out of the cocoon” , to unravel the plot in his heart, let a brand new self appear in front of the public, say goodbye to the plot of “children”, and look for mature love that belongs to him with a mature mentality. When you are confused and helpless, you are not entangled in yourself. In the strange circle, you can jump out in time to seek help, and let the psychological teacher help you straighten your thoughts and find your true self. I believe that as long as you work hard, you will definitely have your own truth.
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