The concept of “sleep divorce”—where couples sleep in separate beds or rooms for better rest—has gained popularity in recent years, but new research suggests it may have unintended consequences for marital mental health. A study published in Sleep Health found that while 45% of couples reported improved sleep quality after separating at night, 30% experienced increased feelings of emotional distance and loneliness. The study, which analyzed data from over 1,200 couples, highlights the complex relationship between sleep and intimacy.
Sleep is a critical component of emotional regulation, and poor sleep has long been linked to irritability and conflict in relationships. However, the study reveals that physical separation at night may reduce opportunities for non-sexual intimacy, such as cuddling or late-night conversations, which are essential for emotional bonding. Dr. Rebecca Simmons, a sleep psychologist, explains, “For many couples, bedtime is one of the few moments they have to connect without distractions. Removing that shared space can inadvertently weaken their emotional connection over time.”
The mental health impact varies depending on the couple’s communication habits. Couples who made a conscious effort to replace lost bedtime intimacy with other forms of connection, such as morning coffee chats or scheduled cuddle time, reported fewer negative effects. However, those who did not compensate for the lack of nighttime closeness were more likely to report feelings of detachment. “It’s not the sleeping arrangement itself that’s the problem—it’s what you do to maintain intimacy outside of it,” says Dr. Simmons.
Another concern is the stigma surrounding sleep divorce. Many couples who choose to sleep separately feel judged by friends or family, leading to unnecessary guilt or shame. This external pressure can strain the relationship further, particularly if one partner is reluctant about the arrangement. Therapists emphasize the importance of open dialogue, ensuring both partners are on the same page and feel emotionally supported regardless of where they sleep.
The long-term effects of sleep divorce on marital mental health are still unclear, but experts agree that it should be a carefully considered decision rather than a quick fix for snoring or restless nights. For some couples, improving sleep hygiene—such as reducing screen time before bed or investing in a larger mattress—may be a better solution than physical separation. As research continues, the key takeaway is that sleep and emotional intimacy are deeply interconnected, and couples should prioritize both when making decisions about their sleeping arrangements.
