With the development of society, the competition between individuals is becoming more and more fierce, and some people are always defeated. Coupled with the influence of multiple factors such as their own personality, family, and society, some people will become cowardly and strong. Feelings of inferiority can easily lead to nervousness, irritability, anxiety or depression. In order to achieve psychological balance, they often use excessive defensive measures, project their dissatisfaction on others, and transfer “I hate myself” to “others hate me”, thus forming “psychological excessive defense” in work and life. . For example, Ms. Sha, who just started working, encountered many troubles in her work. She was always afraid that others would call her “stupid”. She was always on guard against other people’s words and deeds. This is the role of an “excessive psychological defense” mechanism. Psychological research shows that the closer the self-knowledge is to the actual situation of the self, the less self-defense behavior and the stronger the social adaptability, and vice versa. For those who are overly defensive, others can accept it once or twice, and they will avoid it after a long time. The over-defensive person thinks that others look down on him and hurts others again in order to alleviate their own pain. Such a “vicious circle” not only damages their own mental health, but also makes interpersonal relationships rigid, resulting in their own social maladaptation. On the journey of life, it is not always a smooth road covered with flowers. If you are down, depressed, depressed, mentally abnormal, psychologically overprotective, and in a state of depression, regret, depression, depression, and sadness for a long time, it will not only affect your work mood and quality of life, and are detrimental to physical and mental health.
To prevent excessive psychological defense, interpersonal relationships should pay attention to the following four points:
- It is to cultivate self-awareness and self-acceptance, objectively evaluate others, comprehensively look at one’s own strengths and weaknesses, find out their own shortcomings, and correctly handle the relationship between success and failure.
- According to your own environment and specific situation, it is not good to be too ambitious, establish a goal that is in line with yourself, give full play to your own advantages, and do some things that you are satisfied with in order to achieve balance.
- Pay attention to establishing good interpersonal relationships, treat colleagues with sincerity, avoid forming excessive jealousy, learn from experienced people for advice, and strive to overcome the bad feelings of inferiority and cowardice.
- Self-deprecating is when one’s own needs cannot be met and negative emotions arise, in order to eliminate or alleviate inner distress and troubles, intentionally vilify things that cannot be obtained, so as to comfort oneself, obtain psychological balance, and prevent thinking deviations from behavior. Just like the fox said in the fable, he tried his best to get the bunch of grapes on the high wall, but he failed in the end. So he turned around and comforted himself: “That bunch of grapes must be sour!” When he couldn’t get sweet grapes, he had to eat sour lemons but insisted that lemons were sweet, intentionally beautifying what he got. This kind of psychological defense can help you loosen your established goals, which are elusive and unattainable, balance and relieve your disappointment and dissatisfaction, and train yourself to be more mature and strong.
