Many parents are now eager for success, even encouraging young people. When children are young, they begin to compare their children with other children, and some panic because they see the difference between their own children and other children’s children because of their face. Hurry up and find a variety of training classes and cram schools for your children. In fact, most people’s IQ is close to 110-120. There are no stupid children, but some children have early intelligence and some children are late. What really needs to be cultivated is the emotional intelligence of children! Emotional intelligence can determine whether a child’s other abilities, including IQ, can be maximized, thereby determining how much a child can achieve in life.
Simply put, the child’s success = 90% EQ + 10% IQ (90% EQ here includes 99% sweat as Edison said). So, if you are a smart parent, instead of focusing on your child’s test scores, you should focus on developing your child’s emotional intelligence, so that your child can not only get good grades, but also know why they should study , how to learn. What else to do besides study? How to play and so on.
Emotional intelligence refers to non-intellectual factors, also known as psychological qualities.
If a person is lonely, strange, difficult to cooperate; low self-esteem, vulnerable, unable to face setbacks; impatient, conceited, emotionally unstable, etc. These are all signs of a lack of emotional intelligence. Even if he has a high IQ, it is difficult to achieve anything, so emotional intelligence is the key to a person’s success. Although emotional intelligence has certain innate genetic factors, it is more important to develop. So how to develop emotional intelligence in children from an early age?
- Educate children to learn survival skills
There’s a story about a group of kids who got lost on a picnic in the mountains and had a terrible night of wet hunger. They cried hopelessly. People will never find us. A child cried in despair: We will die here. However, 11-year-old Evely stood up. I don’t want to die! She said firmly: My dad said that as long as you walk along the creek, the creek will take us to a big river, and eventually you will come across a small town. I’m going to walk along the creek, you can follow me. As a result, under the leadership of Evere, they successfully made their way out of the forest. One might think that girls like Everay are born with talent, but their talent isn’t due to their father’s nurture. At present, western countries, including Japan in East Asia, attach great importance to children’s survival education. From the time children are sensible, they are taught how to learn to survive and be independent, to get up when they fall, to learn to eat, to organize their own things, and to know how to protect themselves under certain circumstances.
- Develop stamina and self-control
Psychologists have done such an experiment. The kindergarten teacher gave each child a piece of candy and told them: eat now, only give one piece. If you can endure it for an hour before eating, you can reward another piece. A follow-up survey showed that children who could tolerate it had a much higher success rate than those who couldn’t. This is known in psychology as the delayed effect or delayed gratification. Many children are anticlimactic, lack will and patience, and rarely succeed in career when they grow up. So how to cultivate patience in children? For example, when a child is in a hurry to drink milk, don’t satisfy him immediately, let him cry for a while, talk to him slowly, pat him on the back, and then feed him. The patience time is gradually increased, from a few seconds to a few minutes; for a child who spends pocket money quickly every time, parents can say: If you can hold back not spending pocket money for a week, you can double it next week, and you can save up to buy it The big stuff you need. When a child encounters difficulties, parents should not help him immediately, but should encourage him to persevere, endure the unpleasantness of setbacks, and will soon succeed.
- Contact the society more and see the world through wind and rain
Some parents rarely let their kids out, worrying about this and worrying about that. Children cry when they see strangers, and they tend to be sensitive and withdraw when they grow up. Some children are selfish and lack solidarity, so they have few friends. When you grow up, your talents will be affected by interpersonal tension. Therefore, when the child is sensible, let him adapt to the new environment, encourage the timid child to contact more people, or take the initiative to stand up and answer the questions raised by the teacher. This process is also called desensitization. If the child is not given a chance, his adaptability will not spontaneously germinate.
- Cultivate curiosity and a spirit of exploration
However, children passively accept external stimuli and gradually become curious about everything around them. They all want to try to touch, to see. They even break toys into pieces, which is an expression of intellectual curiosity and an important way to acquire knowledge and skills. If parents don’t let their child move, not only will they lose the opportunity to learn, but they will also stifle his motivation. In the future, if you want him to be interested in doing something, he will be too lazy to move. The correct way should be for parents to patiently explain things that their children are interested in, or to run and play together.
- Let the children use their brains more
A boy was unable to climb the first step of a slide because of his short legs. He begged his mother to pick him up (not yet continued). His mother told him: You can do it with your brain. The little boy thought about it: drag my cart there and stand up. All right, let’s go, kid. Mom said. The little boy did it and everything became very easy. There are some things in life, as long as you pay a little attention, you will always come up with many solutions to the problem, so you must cultivate the habit of thinking diligently in children.
- Develop self-confidence and the ability to withstand setbacks
A promising 12-year-old in gymnastics came to see the head coach. Instead of letting her perform gymnastics right away, the head coach gave her four darts to project to the target across from the office. The little girl said timidly: What if you fail? The coach told her: You should think about how to succeed, not how to fail. The little girl practiced repeatedly and finally succeeded. So in life, you have to tell your children that in everything you do, you must first think of success, not failure. People who believe in success can be successful.
- Protect your child’s self-esteem
It is inevitable that children will do wrong or do bad things. Don’t always criticize children: why are you so disobedient! This one can’t move, that one can’t move. This can hurt your child’s self-confidence and self-esteem. Don’t be afraid of your child being naughty and trouble you, and think more about what is conducive to the child’s psychological growth, because a child’s mental health mainly refers to the child’s reasonable needs and wishes are met. Emotional and socialization shows a good mental state. Parents should also restrain their simple and rude education methods. If you really don’t let your child play with something, divert the interest by diverting it.
