Modern mother-in-law and daughter-in-law no problem?
In the past, in traditional society, elders were regarded as the authority, and daughters-in-law would respect them. However, with the change of social values, things are no longer right or wrong, and the problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law seem to be alleviating.
In fact, the increasing divorce rate and the increasing number of small families make the problem less serious than expected, but it does not mean that the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law does not exist, if compared with the previous proportion, it may actually increase.
In modern times, the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law seems less serious. In many cases, it is because the daughter-in-law does not leave her mother-in-law.
In the past, daughters-in-law were very concerned about the rumors that their mother-in-law would praise them and worry about their neighbors, but modern women are more self-conscious and tend to think, “I’m marrying you, not your family,” so they don’t step on what others think of them.
Some daughters-in-law even teach their mother-in-law in return, believing her ideas to be outdated.
In the past, the mother-in-law always had the upper hand in the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, but in modern society, the relationship between the mother-in-law and the wife is more equal, and the strong daughter-in-law will scold the mother-in-law.
Different religions are often one of the causes of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems. For example, if the mother-in-law is a devout Buddhist, she often needs to be worshipped, while if the daughter-in-law is a Christian, opinions are easily divided.
At this time, the daughter-in-law may wish to tell her mother-in-law, because of religious relations, I am not convenient to worship, but I can help prepare the things needed for the worship.
In addition, don’t deny each other’s religion, should respect each other’s beliefs, let alone try to change one of them.
Huang Lunfen said that when the religious customs of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are different, the husband plays a very important role. If the husband can timely come out and say: “I come to worship, it will be very good to see me first!”
Help the wife to solve the crisis, can resolve the opposition between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and conflict.
Living habits are very different to the rare week vacation period, most couples will take the opportunity to travel with their children, but some parents-in-law do not want to go out, just want to rest at home, and ask their son, daughter-in-law to stay with them.
Conflict arises when one party tries to use the “family” to hold the other party back.
When confronted with similar problems, the first consideration should be “what do I want”, and then “how to say”. If the priority can be established, there will be no contradiction in my mind.
For example, if your mother wants your child to lead an interesting life and see more of the world, she should not be afraid that her mother-in-law will be unhappy and keep her words to herself. Maybe she should try to tell her mother-in-law, “Your child needs exercise at this age, so going out for a run will help you sleep better at night!”
“Or” The doctor says he has a nasal allergy and must run in the park more often.”
Most mothers-in-law will be more receptive when they hear such words.
Nowadays, many mothers-in-law are highly educated and think it is most important for their grandchildren to have a good academic record.
But this generation of parents values are different, because of the awakening of self-awareness, most think the child’s emotional expression, independence, and whether to have skill, is the most important thing, don’t have to read many books, can be out of the top line, the idea of such differences, lead to the two sides have different views on children education.
If the mother-in-law can adjust herself, leave the problem of upbringing to the son and daughter-in-law to do, do not get involved in so much, let yourself have a good life is the most important.
Controversy ¢Û Do children prefer their mothers-in-law?
Modern FAMILY IS PARENTS OF DUAL WORKER MORE, AFTER THE CHILD IS BORN, BECAUSE MUST BE BUSY WITH THE JOB, OFTEN GIVE THE CHILD TO THE MOTHER-IN-LAW TO TAKE RAISE, AFTER WAITING FOR THE CHILD TO GO TO SCHOOL JUST PICK UP TO LIVE TOGETHER, MAKE THE CHILD AND GRANDMOTHER ARE MORE CLOSE, EASY TO APPEAR FOR THE CHILD THE PSYCHOLOGY THAT FIGHTS JEALOUSLY.
In fact, neither mother nor daughter-in-law should want to monopolize the child, let him feel that he needs to choose between mommy and grandma, and therefore feel embarrassed.
Mothers should thank their mothers-in-law for helping with their children and learn to accept the fact that their children like their mothers because they have been with them since they were young.
It’s good for a child to be loved, but what matters is what kind of relationship the mother wants to have with the child when she brings the child home.
${FDPageBreak} The mother-in-law playing her grandson and daughter-in-law off against each other?
For example, sometimes a mother-in-law will tell her grandson, “Your mother is so lazy that she only washes clothes once a week.”
A naive child might tell his mommy.
Of course, most daughters-in-law will hear this and think: “How can the mother-in-law say bad things about me and destroy the relationship between me and my children!”
But it would have been better if she had thought differently that she was talking about the laundry and not about me personally.
Mommy might as well say to the child, “Grandma thinks it’s better to do laundry every day, and so do I, but Mommy doesn’t have that much time.”
This is a way to show the child that grandma is not bad-mouthing Mommy, but that they just don’t see things the same way.
Some mothers-in-law will say in front of their daughter-in-law, “Other people’s children can play the piano very well, but none of ours can.”
At this time, if the daughter-in-law thinks that the mother-in-law thinks that I cannot teach the child, it is easy to produce psychological confrontation.
Instead, it would be nice to be honest about it and tell your child, “Grandma thinks it’s great that you can play. It was Grandma’s wish, and we have ours. Do you like playing?”
If the child says he doesn’t like playing the piano, try to ask him what he likes. If the child’s answer is that he likes drawing, he can further say to him: “So you like drawing, that’s great!
Shall we draw Grandma for her?”
In this way, the mother-in-law will accept that everyone has different interests and that the grandson has other specialties and advantages.
If both sides can think maturely about the “thing” in dispute, instead of just blaming the “person”, the conflict can be resolved.
¢Ý The husband caught in the middle is really difficult ~ when there is a dispute between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, Mr. Caught in the middle should not speak?
Protect which side is wrong, simply keep silent, is the majority of Mr. Will take the strategy, but Mr. Do not talk, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems not only did not solve, but will make the wife more angry.
When the husband does not know how to protect the wife, the wife will feel that “you are not my husband, you are still your mother’s son”, making the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the relationship between husband and wife more and more tense.
When the mother-in-law keeps complaining about the daughter-in-law, the husband should tell his mother: “She is different from you, many habits and ideas are different, please tolerate her.”
Then he said to his wife, “Sorry, because you married me, you need to get along with my mother, sometimes she is difficult to get along with me, I know, thank you!”
When my wife heard these words, she would feel that at least her husband understood my pain and the relationship between husband and wife would not deteriorate.
When conflicts arise between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, some husbands and wives say, “How many years has she got left?
Just give in to her!”
In this way, the wife is likely to wonder “when will her mother-in-law leave” every day, which will only worsen the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Also, gentlemen, don’t say to your wife, “For my sake, don’t bother with her.”
Don’t be in the middle when the voice, timely say some fair and just words, in order to resolve the dispute between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
