This marriage phobia is a 29-year-old woman. The cause of marriage phobia is that she closed herself at the beginning of the university. Listen to her own words: My problem with asking for help today is my relationship problem. I am 29 years old this year. Before I went to college, it was because I closed myself off from contact with people. So although many boys pursued me, I ignored them. I still haven’t talked about my boyfriend since I went to college, because I have a knot in my heart and I can’t let it go.
Since I was a child, I often saw my parents quarreling. Later, I saw the quarrel between relatives and husbands, and the quarrel between my good friends and boyfriends. I was afraid of talking with friends . I didn’t want to be hurt. I have no confidence in men. phobia.
In other words, I have no confidence in myself. In this society with too many temptations, I feel that I have no ability to make a man loyal to a relationship for a lifetime, so I became a fear of marriage. In this way, I rejected one after another, even if it was a boy I still liked more. By the way, I had a crush on two boys in two periods, but those two boys liked our classmates from that period. So much so that I was very inferior to my appearance for a while. I even think why the people I like only like beautiful women? Is there something wrong with my own vision? Of course, this means that I don’t think so now, because I think Banhua must have other excellent things besides beautiful. aspect. And at least I’m pretty good looking myself.
Now that I am not too young, my parents will always nag a few words, and there are always many people around me who kindly remind me that “it’s not too young, it’s hard for a girl to be over 30”, but I really don’t know How to start my love. I think I just like “talented men”, but when there is such a person in front of me but he is bigger than me, and he has expressed his affection for me, I don’t have the courage to think about the possibility of such a relationship . And my family said to me: “You are so big, don’t tell me that the girlfriends they talked to before were all fools. If they were really good men, I would have robbed them and kept them for you.” I knew that I cared about him very much, but I was still afraid. , escaped.
Looking at the 35- and 36-year-old female colleagues in the unit who are still single, I am afraid that I will do the same in the future.
Because I know that if I go on like this, no matter how good a person and how good a feeling is in front of me, next time I will choose the same way – escape. What should I do?
This marriage-phobic family’s advice is: You do have a marriage phobia . The reason is that when you were young, the quarrels between your parents left an indelible, fearful effect on your mind. There is an old saying: quarrel and quarrel, grow old. The implication of this sentence is that quarrels between husband and wife are normal. Quarrel is sometimes also a way of heart and mind exchange, and also a kind of concern for each other. Imagine if one spouse has no feelings for the other at all, then there will be indifference or a cold war. From this perspective, the quarrel is at least better than the Cold War. The understanding between husband and wife will be strengthened through quarrel, but it is necessary to control the occasion and intensity of the quarrel, and not to affect the family and others.
Love is a process of spiritual fusion between two men and women with different life experiences, family backgrounds, and cultivation. This process requires the experience of knowing each other, falling in love, and falling in love. During these processes, men and women have to communicate in terms of outlook on life and family, and finally enter into marriage. That is to say, there will definitely be conflicting elements in marriage, but one cannot give up food because of choking.
It’s normal for people to have this or that kind of fear throughout their lives .
Facing fear requires us to adjust our psychological state, rather than blindly choose to escape.
First of all, when I look back on my own growth and life experiences, there will be many successes that make me admire. Recalling your past successes can give you a boost of confidence.
At the same time, look at the classmates and colleagues around you, many of them are not as good as yourself. But they excel in marriage or in life. From this, we should also believe that we can handle things in our own life and work.
Seek help from others. Some things may be scary to one person, but a piece of cake for others. Therefore, he is good at communicating with others, being good at asking others for advice, and can also help himself overcome his fears.
Marriage phobia has become a family of fear of marriage. Marriage phobia is a modern disease. Because it is getting busier and more estranged, if there is another bad shadow in childhood, then getting rid of the fear of marriage will require a strong “microcosm”. “. The more fearful we are about marriage, the larger the group of people who are afraid of marriage will become. We must overcome the fear of marriage to obtain our own happiness.
