College students’ love is the need for physical and mental development, and it also has a positive effect on their mental health, but it must be based on real and healthy love. On the contrary, it is not only detrimental to mental health, but also may cause great harm to the physical and mental health of college students because their physical and mental development is not fully mature. Love is undoubtedly one of the topics that college students are most concerned about, and college students’ love is no longer “half-covered”. There are often lively discussions at the “squatting meeting”, around the dining room table, and in the classrooms between classes. Some lovers spend the past month together, and they are active on campus in pairs. Love is so unique and charming, it tugs at the heartstrings of the students, making people seek and yearn for it. However, the problem of love is also one of the most troublesome problems for college students. Because of improper handling of the problem of love, it leads to psychological pain, distorted personality, and even mental disorders. Examples often occur on college campuses.
So, what exactly is love? What are the stage characteristics of college students’ love psychology? How can college students avoid psychological crisis in love? What is love? new insights into this issue. His “Love Trinity” believes that although human love is complex and changeable, it basically consists of three components:
(1) Motivational component. The motives behind acts of love are extremely complex for humans. Among them, sexual motivation or sexual drive, and corresponding incentives, such as physical appearance between the opposite sex, are one of the important reasons.
(2) Emotional components. Emotions belonging to love, in addition to love and desire, must also be mixed with other ingredients, the so-called ups and downs of love.
(3) Cognitive components. The role of cognition in love is a controlling factor for both emotional and motivational components. If motives and emotions are viewed as currents and sparks, respectively, cognition is the switch or regulator, which can be moderated according to the heat of the fire of love. According to him, although the form of love between the sexes varies from person to person, it is actually a combination of these three components in some way. He further called the love relationship between motivation, emotion and cognition as passion, intimacy and commitment. Cognitive-dominated relationships between the sexes are committed and covenant-keeping. And the perfect love should be all three, and they are one.
The development of college students’ love psychology generally goes through four periods:
(1) Heterosexual alienation period. Generally between 12 and 14 years old, boys and girls entering puberty, due to the rapid changes in physical development, cause psychological uneasiness and shyness, so that there is a gap between men and women in terms of psychology and behavior, and the relationship is alienated or even disgusted. However, with the modernization of the society, due to the development of various media and the increasing openness of people’s ideas, the performance of this stage has become less and less obvious.
(2) Heterosexual yearning period. Generally between the ages of 15 and 16, with the development of sexual physiology, especially the development of sexual consciousness, boys and girls gradually turn from alienation and resistance to developing good feelings for each other, and are willing to study, play and do activities together.
(3) Proximity period of the opposite sex. Generally from 16 to 18 years old, with the further maturity of sexual physiology, there is yearning and admiration between the opposite sex, often adopting various methods to approach the opposite sex, feel happy with the opposite sex, and first love begins to appear.
(4) Love period or love generation period. After the age of 18, with the maturity of sexual physiology and sexual awareness, the increase in the frequency of male and female communication, and the influence of environmental factors, most young people enter a state of love. From the perspective of age alone, most college students are in the latter two stages of the above-mentioned psychological development, but due to differences in personal experience and their own social and cultural backgrounds, the performance of the stage characteristics of the psychological development of love may have a great impact. Gap.
