Navigating the complexities of modern dating can be challenging, with countless rules and potential pitfalls. Recognizing signs that someone is genuinely right for you amid the vast array of choices available can be daunting. To provide clarity on this matter, Insider consulted relationship experts who shared insightful “green flags” to watch for when determining relationship compatibility.
1. Passing the ‘Bar Test’:
Erika Ettin, dating coach and founder of A Little Nudge, suggests a straightforward litmus test. When out with your partner, observe your feelings. If you find contentment and a desire for others to notice your connection, it’s a positive sign. However, if you’re scanning the room for alternatives, it may be time for introspection.
2. Unwavering Support:
Shannon Thomas, therapist and author, emphasizes the importance of a partner who genuinely celebrates your successes without holding you back. Healthy relationships, she notes, involve mutual encouragement rather than sabotage.
3. Trusting Your Intuition:
Tracy Malone, a relationship expert and YouTuber, emphasizes the role of intuition. When you feel good, notice patience and authenticity in your partner, and observe consistent behavior both in public and private, it indicates a positive trajectory. Conversely, intuitive warnings may arise if your partner attempts to change you.
4. Embracing Quirks:
Laura Wasser, divorce lawyer and relationship expert, advises seeking a partner who embraces your unique qualities. Tolerance for quirks, shared humor, and intellectual compatibility contribute to a strong foundation.
5. Integration into Your Life:
Holly Daniels, a specialist in anxiety and relationships, recommends assessing whether a potential partner fits into various aspects of your life. Compatibility with friends, family, and shared interests indicates a relationship’s sustainability.
6. Active Listening:
Elinor Greenberg, psychologist and author, highlights the significance of genuine interest and attentive listening in a partner. Mutual engagement in conversations, along with remembering personal details, suggests a strong connection. Conversely, a self-centered focus may indicate a lack of genuine interest.
7. Mutual Happiness:
Laura VanderDrift, psychology professor and director of the Close Relationships Lab at Syracuse University, underscores the importance of reciprocal efforts to make each other happy. Couples prioritizing each other’s needs tend to navigate compromises and collaborate effectively.
Recognizing these ‘green flags’ can serve as valuable indicators in the pursuit of a healthy and fulfilling relationship, providing guidance amidst the complexities of modern dating.
