Divorce, a complex and costly ordeal, involves intricate legalities, logistical challenges, and financial restructuring. While lawyers tackle legal aspects, emotional complexities often go unaddressed. How does one handle attending a child’s event with an ex-spouse? What about constant intrusive messages from a separated partner? The ramifications of sending an emotionally charged email to one’s estranged spouse are equally daunting. Enter the emerging role of divorce doulas.
Similar to birth doulas providing emotional and informational support during pregnancy, divorce doulas extend assistance throughout the divorce process, aiding clients in navigating the intricate legal system and emotional upheaval.
In 2021, Madeline Tuckfield and Courtney Cooper, both with expertise in divorce, founded Divorce Doulas. Cooper, a 50-year-old family law attorney from Utah, and Tuckfield, a 32-year-old former film producer who underwent a divorce in 2019, recognized the lack of guidance during divorce proceedings. Their personal experiences led them to create a business offering coaching sessions and online courses tailored to individuals undergoing high-conflict divorces.
The duo’s business operates part-time, providing guidance on constructing parenting plans and preparing for mediation. Divorce doulas like Tuckfield and Cooper aim to fill the gap by offering practical advice and emotional support, acknowledging the limitations of legal professionals in addressing the emotional aspects of divorce.
The emergence of divorce doulas mirrors a broader trend in doula services, encompassing birth doulas and end-of-life doulas. Derived from the ancient Greek word for “female servant,” doulas have gained popularity for aiding individuals during significant life transitions.
While divorce doulas come from diverse backgrounds with varying qualifications, formal certification is not a requirement. Some possess expertise in family law or therapy, while others have trained as life coaches. Tuckfield emphasizes the value of informal education pathways, drawing on her personal healing journey post-divorce.
It’s crucial to note that divorce doulas do not provide legal advice but offer insights into the legal system while addressing the emotional fallout associated with divorce proceedings. Tuckfield and Cooper stress that their role is more practical and focused than therapy, yet more holistic and supportive than discussions with lawyers.
Clients argue that divorce doulas offer a unique form of support that friends and family cannot replicate. In the words of one client still navigating her divorce, having a divorce doula is akin to having “that best friend you’ve always wanted, but you’re paying for.” As divorce doulas gain traction, their role in providing emotional guidance and practical support continues to evolve in the ever-complex landscape of divorce proceedings.
