“I knew he was lying to me, but I kept making excuses for him and convincing myself to trust him.
I feel so useless and stupid!”
When saying this, wood Xiao Li will head buried very low very low, scattered down the broken hair covered her face, cold tears fall on the back of her hand.
I handed her a tissue, and she began to SOB faintly, like a wounded child.
Mu Xiaoli met Qiu Chen a year ago.
At that time, she just graduated from college, saw a foreign trade company on the Internet recruitment information, so took the resume to apply.
The interview did not go well and the tricky interviewer said Mu was not suitable for the job.
Wood Xiao Li especially uncomfortable, not up to the tears welled up.
“Manager Chen, I think a team should have more diverse personalities, so as to maximize its strengths and minimize its weaknesses.”
In the interview into despair, from the wood Xiao Li behind the voice of a man.
Then a man in a striped shirt stood between her and the interviewer.
The man then became her interviewer, asked her some questions and then told her she could start the following Monday.
Wood Xiao Li out of the office, the heart has unspeakable excitement, she sincerely appreciate the man to help him speak, thought, if he is his boss.
Sure enough, when the wood Xiao Li a professional dress into the office, the man told her that she was arranged to his department, wood Xiao Li sincerely happy.
At the same time, she also knew his name was Qiu Chen, the department manager of the Marketing Department.
Next on the job training, Qiu Chen almost like a big brother, constantly give wood Xiao Li encouragement and guidance.
However, in the wood Xiao Li work just started, but came Qiu Chen to leave the news, wood Xiao Li heart unspeakable uncomfortable, as if there was a feeling of being abandoned by relatives.
She even felt the urge to quit.
That night, curled up in her dorm bed, writing in her journal, her phone rang.
Pick up the mobile phone a look, wood Xiao Li’s heart excited to jump out, is Qiu Chen, he called!
Connect the phone, can not allow Qiu Chen to say anything, wood Xiao Li angrily asked him why he wanted to resign, why not ahead of time and said, then, he could not stop choking up.
The other side quietly listened to the sound of gentle breathing from the mobile phone, wood Xiao Li stopped crying, feel a little out of shape.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!
Did you eat?
How was your day?
I’ll come and see you at once. Will you wait for me?”
Qiu Chen’s voice mellow and gentle, like the warm tide, gently wrapped wood Xiao Li.
That evening, Xiao Li met Qiu Chen.
He is more approachable in casual clothes instead of a suit and tie.
Wood Xiao Li lowered his head, dare not look at his eyes.
When she felt a breath on her face, she realized Qiu Chen was very close to her.
Before she knew it, she was being pulled into his arms and held tight.
There was no rejection, no shyness, no strangeness, as if everything were right.
She leaned against his chest, very quiet, very quiet.
The next day, she walked briskly into the office building, her face hard to hide.
Love can make a woman become very happy, and she has been a woman with love since yesterday.
Their love developed rapidly, and soon, the two people rented a house in the suburbs and lived together.
She loved to see him sleeping in the morning light, and she put her head against his chest, not believing that such a perfect love could be held in her hand.
Two months later, their sweet and quiet life was shattered for the first time.
That day after work, wood Xiao Li as usual to buy food, ready to go home to do dinner, a home but was choked by the diffuse smoke cough.
Look at Qiu Chen, slumped on the sofa, drunk.
Mu Xiao Li helped him to bed, only to hear him mumble what eighty thousand yuan.
Only later did I know that Qiu Chen and others lost the business together, not only lost the capital, but also owed 80 thousand yuan of debt.
Now he was being harassed so much that it was driving him crazy.
Wood Xiao Li never heard Qiu Chen said business, Qiu Chen said, he wanted to make money quickly, quickly buy a house and wood Xiao Li married.
Wood Xiao Li finally understand, men sometimes carry far more than women.
Xiao Li began to chip in, in addition to his savings, also borrowed a lot of money from the students, finally put together thirty thousand dollars.
When she handed the money to Qiu Chen, Qiu hugged her tightly without saying a word.
Wood Xiao Li feel for the beloved people to pay, hard and hard again, it is worth it.
But since then, Qiu Chen has repeatedly walked bad luck: today lost mobile phone to buy a new, tomorrow broke the unit of the laptop computer needs compensation, the day after tomorrow home cousin got a terminal disease, need a sum of money……
In just a few months, Mu Xiao Li already owed more than 50,000 yuan to his classmates and friends, and lied to his family for more than 8,000 yuan.
On the behavior of wood Xiao Li borrowing money, friends feel strange, when they learned that she is for her boyfriend to borrow money, outspoken friends remind her not to be too credulous Qiu Chen.
Wood Xiao Li unhappy, immediately said Qiu Chen is not the kind of person, the other side is not good to say what.
Later, in front of Qiu Chen, wood Xiao Li also began to have a temper.
One day, Qiu Chen said he would be very busy next, may not have too much time to accompany wood Xiao Li, let wood Xiao Li a person take care.
Wood Xiao Li anxiously asked Qiu Chen why.
Qiu Chen explained that he had lost a lot of money and had to earn it back quickly to give Mu Xiaoli a future.
Xiao Li wood tightly hugged Qiu Chen, said she can not have a house, no beautiful clothes, no everything, but can not do without Qiu Chen.
When Qiu Chen’s kiss fell on her forehead, wood Xiao Li in the heart of the unhappy are resolved, she returned to the past gentle.
Next, Qiu Chen often went home late, wood Xiao Li as much as possible to care about him, Qiu Chen sometimes impatient, but wood Xiao Li always think he is too tired.
Qiu Chen may be really busy, mobile phone messages always ring non-stop, Xiao Li wood want to see, Qiu Chen said it is business, do not let her participate, Xiao Li wood had to give up.
Once, while Qiu Chen went to the bathroom, wood Xiao Li read Qiu Chen’s message.
The messages were clearly from a girl, and they were ambiguous.
Wood Xiao Li felt torn heart, asked Qiu Chen is what is going on.
Qiu Chen first one Leng, then say, he is a brother is pursuing a girl, these text messages are that brother turn to, let him help judge the other side of the idea.
Seeing that Mu Xiao Li still didn’t believe him, Qiu Chen’s attitude suddenly became tough: “It’s really chilling. After getting along with you for such a long time, I can’t even get your trust.
If you don’t believe me, you can call me back. Isn’t there a phone number?
You dial back and ask!”
There was a moment, Mu Xiao Li really wanted to call the past, but eventually gave up, she could not tell what she was afraid of.
Leaning gently on Qiu Chen, she said she was only so afraid of losing him.
“You’re always so paranoid,” Qiu said, stroking her long hair. “It makes me tired and will ruin our relationship!”
That night, wood Xiao Li insomnia, she again and again to convince themselves to believe Qiu Chen, but again and again to overturn their reasons.
Finally, she thought, at least Qiu Chen loves himself, is not willing to hurt himself, he lied also shows that he is afraid of losing her, this at least proves that he still loves himself.
In this way, she has a little inner balance.
Soon one day, Xiao Li returned to the rented cottage, found Qiu Chen moved away, without leaving any trace.
Distraught, she called him, only to hear the sound of his phone being turned off.
So far, Mu Xiao Li has to face a reality — Qiu Chen is deceiving her all the time, and Qiu Chen’s accomplice is not others, it is her unrepentant.
In their classic study of attitude change, the Yale social psychologists Hovland and Janice pointed out that any change in attitude is the result of a difference between a person’s existing attitude and some external view that is different from it.
This kind of difference will produce stress and cause inner conflict, that is, psychological “disharmony” and “imbalance”.
In order to reduce the psychological pressure, people have the ability to restore psychological coordination, one of the ways is to accept the external influence, change their original attitude;
The second method is to take various ways to deny or resist external influences.
For wood Xiao Li, she originally thought Qiu Chen is love yourself, is trustworthy, but, Qiu Chen some behavior and practice in that he is cheating her, wood Xiao Li heart is bound to produce uncomfortable feeling.
At this time, Mu Xiaoli either admitted Qiu Chen’s deception and changed his perception that he loved himself and could be trusted, or denied or resisted Qiu Chen’s deception.
Apparently, Mr. Mu took the second approach.
Why did Mu take the second course of action?
It has a lot to do with her dependence.
When our inner strength is not strong enough to give ourselves the courage to face reality, we tend to rely on others.
Qiu Chen had given her help when wood Xiao Li difficult, had given her confidence and courage, these let wood Xiao Li had a strong sense of dependence on him.
To admit the truth means to lose it all. It is better to flee behind self-deception to avoid the coming harm.
But there is no escaping the reality.
Eventually, wood Xiao Li had to face Qiu Chen’s deception.
In the face of injury, the best way is to gradually cultivate the inner strength, after all, every time of life, is the power of personal growth.
