The netizen question saw your new book “Exchange Love” in the bookstore, germinated the idea of writing to you.
The letter is rather long and my writing is not good. I hope you can have the patience to read it.
I am 26 years old and have been working for a few years before going back to school.
Sometimes I feel very traditional, but my experience completely denies this.
I am A girl who is relatively late in civilization. I never fell in love in college. I met my first boyfriend A after two years of work.
He and A developed quickly. They were in A relationship within A few days and had sex within two weeks.
He was kind of my first sex teacher. He taught me a lot of things.
And A was my first time, I didn’t get any pleasure from it.
Barely a few times down, I accidentally contracted inflammation, and more serious.
I didn’t know anything, I was humiliated, and I was tortured.
A denied that it was his reason, and I doubted that I was not A normal woman in the ignorant.
I almost ran all over the major hospitals in Shanghai, kept taking medicine, but he did not care how.
Like many lovers before they break up, we fought a lot, and he finally broke up with us because of personality differences.
Then I found out he was seeing someone else, and I was just filling in the blanks.
This relationship has been very hard on me physically and mentally. I am on the verge of collapse.
Besides the feeling of being cheated, I also care about losing my virginity to him!
Years of traditional education had left me feeling unwanted and worried about being single forever.
I was in a bad mood and my health was not good. Later, I scattered my energy to the postgraduate entrance exam and slowly survived the darkness.
While I was at home waiting for school to start, I had a second boyfriend, B.
B and I have known each other for a long time. We are from the same village. We wrote to each other for a semester in college.
Although I did not contact him again for several years, I still felt the passion in his words.
We contacted each other online, and we met after chatting online for A month. He tactfully suggested that he wanted to continue our relationship. I felt that I had A black mark, and I was facing the prospect of re-studying.
B said he didn’t mind, but said his family was rich and could afford to send him to Shanghai to make a living.
I’m glad God brought us together again.
A month later, I solemnly told him that he agreed to continue the relationship with love, who knows two days later he told me that there was an accident at home, I immediately had a foreboding.
A few days later he came to see me from out of town. This was the second time we met.
He said the family business was essentially bankrupt and hinted at a possible breakup.
I have thought about this possibility before, but at that moment I suggested that both sides take a step back and change the future residence of Shanghai to the capital of my hometown.
I feel sorry for this man, worried about his difficult situation but unable to share.
That day, I was still in the hospital with an eye problem and asked him to stay the night with me, but he asked me to come to the hotel with him and said he wanted to spend more time with me.
I guess his intention, not very afraid of his bad behavior to me, hesitated for a long time, or with him to the hotel.
He just sat on the other bed and watched TV. He said very little. Instead, I got impatient and drew him to me.
I’m not sure what it was that made me do this. Maybe it was passion, maybe it was a desire to comfort him.
We half push half sleep together, although the middle he unexpectedly took out a condom, and every way to explain the reason, although I doubt but also do not want to pursue.
It was five months from start to finish, and we saw each other six times.
Two people GET ALONG is STILL happy, sometimes I will miss and his intimacy, although not very intense but always warm, is he let me like “sex” this thing.
Unfortunately, we still follow the same path that so many people have followed, with countless fights and forgives that led to a breakup.
I met him on the Internet a few days ago. He was married and said that he missed the contact with me and wrote the story on his blog.
The next thing that changed my mind a lot.
I have been in bad health all these years. During the holiday examination, the doctor suspected that I had some terminal disease. I felt vulnerable and helpless in the desperate waiting, but fortunately it was just misdiagnosed.
But I realized that I was vulnerable and needed a home and someone to take care of me.
So he began to actively meet people.
Oh, by the way, I haven’t really introduced myself.
I am medium height, appearance also IS not BAD, MANY people KUa MY CONDITION IS good, may compliment the COMPOSITION more.
I found that I was not suited for this approach, and several blind dates failed.
On the one hand, I pursue feelings, on the other hand, I value realistic conditions.
So I turned my hope to dating sites.
I met both C and D through chat.
C is much older than me, good at writing ancient poetry, very artistic conception, I have never seen such a man in my life.
We were very far apart, and he asked me for a friend at first, and then for a lover.
I feel that my body is not good anyway, it is better to find a lover so for a lifetime, who also not involved.
Moreover, I liked his wit, so I put aside my studies and talked to him every day.
Our conversations were getting more and more naked, and all the talk was about sex.
I was already in the heat of sexual anticipation, constantly negotiating when and where to meet.
Just as I was looking forward with all my heart to the appointed time, he suddenly ducked out.
I said if you thought I was bothering you, I’d stop right away, just one word, but he never said anything.
I play through the only telephone, the beginning has been no one to answer, I stubborn non-stop redial, he finally answered, angry of ask: “You are what goods?
What do you want?”
Can’t think of a month of net Liaoto end in this way, yesterday I was curious to search his QQ whether online, not, I think, he will not be the original identity online.
Although very lost at that time, but fortunately no loss, also did not bother for a few days.
I realized that I was a serious person, not suitable for such a life, and I was glad that he changed his mind and didn’t let me go to this extreme.
Just a little wonder, why he will send me to the door of the change, is he already feel that I will be serious?
I found D on a dating website. When I saw his photo, I thought of B. He looks very friendly, with good personal condition and good job.
I targeted people in their thirties before I went online, because they had a certain economic foundation, and because they had sort of gone through something and didn’t think too much about it.
D was not very enthusiastic to me. I hesitated whether to fight for it. I thought it was not easy to meet someone who had feelings, so I changed my identity and pretended to meet him by chance.
I was not confident at the beginning, but after the video, he was quite satisfied and proposed an opportunity to meet.
We went to his house the first time we met, and he soon made out with me.
I’m not repelled, I’m not scared, I’m just wondering if this person is worth having, and I don’t care much about having sex.
The relationship lasted for a week, after which he became cold, pleading that his family did not approve.
I know I was cheated again, but still unwilling to elaborate arrangements and sincere efforts to come to naught.
Two more times, no results, I had to let go, just as a nightmare.
After these things I feel a kind of cheated feeling, also very doubt the purpose of their relationship with me.
I now know that I am a move of love will not be able to clean up the person, once met the man will be desperate.
Sometimes I worry about myself. My friends say I am very kind, but I always meet bad people.
I don’t know what to say about the men I meet, and I’m more worried about finding a home.
It scared me, and although there were some things I didn’t seem to care about, I knew I couldn’t go wrong!
I am very sad, do not know their own body is a kind of what kind of human weakness.
Thank you for reading this letter in your busy schedule!
Love and marriage is a serious matter, even if there are setbacks, also should not give up.
Why give yourself up so casually to a man you don’t even know?
Girls should be smart and good at introspecting from setbacks.
Be good at protecting yourself.
Only with self-respect can men respect you.
