Loneliness is not just a fleeting emotion—it’s a serious health risk. Psychologists emphasize that prolonged feelings of isolation can affect both mental and physical health, leading to anxiety, depression, sleep issues, and even shortening one’s lifespan.
“Loneliness has real and significant consequences, including higher stress levels, worsening chronic conditions, and a harder time recovering from health setbacks,” says Dr. Gayle MacBride, Ph.D., LP, a psychologist with Veritas Psychology Partners.
Although recognizing loneliness is the first step toward healing, it can be especially difficult for women, who often internalize these feelings and mistakenly believe they are at fault.
“Women often feel ashamed of their loneliness, which can create a vicious cycle that makes it harder to break free,” explains Dr. Emily Guarnotta, Psy.D., a psychologist at Phoenix Health.
Psychologists have identified several behaviors commonly seen in women dealing with loneliness, often without realizing it.
Common Behaviors of Women Struggling with Loneliness
Social Isolation
One of the most telling signs of loneliness is social withdrawal. Whether it’s not being invited to events or choosing to stay home, isolation can quickly deepen the feeling of being alone. Dr. Michele Goldman, Ph.D., explains that feeling excluded is a significant contributor to loneliness, while Dr. Guarnotta notes that some women may actively avoid social situations due to anxiety or a fear of getting too close to others.
Excessive Busyness
Many women appear overly busy, filling their schedules with commitments to avoid confronting their loneliness. “Over-committing doesn’t mean you feel connected,” says Dr. MacBride. The busy lifestyle may be a distraction from the emotional void they’re trying to fill.
Shallow Relationships
Some women maintain many relationships, but these connections often lack depth. Dr. Goldman highlights that while these relationships might seem abundant, they may not provide emotional support, leading to feelings of isolation despite being surrounded by others.
People-Pleasing
Lonely women may go to great lengths to please others, hoping that it will lead to stronger connections. Dr. Guarnotta points out that while this may seem positive, it often leads to burnout, resentment, and deeper isolation.
Excessive Positivity
Lonely women sometimes mask their feelings by always appearing upbeat. Dr. Guarnotta notes that while constant positivity may seem likable, it can be perceived as inauthentic, which may alienate others and reinforce feelings of loneliness.
Critical Self-Talk
Women dealing with loneliness are often overly critical of themselves. Dr. Jan Miller, Ph.D., explains that a harsh inner voice can reinforce the belief that something is wrong with them, worsening their feelings of isolation.
Hyper-Independence
While independence is generally seen as a positive trait, Dr. Guarnotta explains that hyper-independence can be a sign of loneliness. Women who avoid asking for help may do so to protect themselves from being let down by others, keeping their emotional distance.
Digital Escapism
Lonely women often turn to social media or binge-watch shows as a way to feel connected to others. Dr. MacBride explains that this digital escapism is sometimes used as a substitute for real-life connections, offering a temporary sense of closeness.
Staying in Toxic Relationships
Fear of being completely alone can lead some women to stay in unhealthy relationships. Dr. MacBride says that the emotional drain of toxic connections can be hard to break free from, even though the fear of deeper loneliness keeps them trapped.
Poor Self-Care
Loneliness can lead to a decline in self-care. Dr. Miller notes that neglecting basic needs, like eating properly or taking care of one’s appearance, can be signs of depression linked to loneliness.
How to Cope with Loneliness
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Recognizing loneliness is the first step in addressing it. Dr. Goldman suggests being honest with yourself about your emotions and understanding why you feel this way.
Seek Help
Therapy can be incredibly helpful in addressing loneliness, especially for women who internalize the issue. Dr. Miller recommends working with a mental health professional to explore the root causes and develop healthier coping strategies.
Get Involved
Joining a group activity or club can help women meet new people. Dr. Guarnotta advises stepping outside your comfort zone and asking, “What’s the worst that can happen?” to combat the fear of rejection.
Reconnect with Old Friends
Reaching out to people from your past can be less intimidating than trying to form new friendships. Dr. Guarnotta suggests making a list of old acquaintances and reconnecting with them as a way to rebuild meaningful connections.
Be Authentic
When meeting new people, it’s important to show up as your true self. Dr. MacBride encourages women to focus on places where they feel a sense of belonging, rather than trying to fit in with others.
Embrace Alone Time
Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. Dr. Guarnotta emphasizes that learning to enjoy solo activities can be a fulfilling way to spend time, separate from the negative experience of loneliness.
In conclusion, loneliness can have serious health effects, but with self-awareness and the right support, it’s possible to overcome it. Whether through therapy, connecting with others, or learning to enjoy alone time, there are ways to break free from the cycle of isolation and build a more fulfilling life.
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