Emotional neglect in marriages is an underdiscussed yet devastating issue, according to a report from the National Marriage Project. Unlike overt conflict, emotional neglect involves a gradual withdrawal of affection, attention, and empathy, leaving partners feeling invisible and unloved.
The study, which analyzed data from over 3,000 couples, found that nearly 30% of respondents reported feeling emotionally neglected, with many unaware that this dynamic was eroding their mental health.
Dr. Robert Hammond, a marriage and family therapist, describes emotional neglect as a “slow poison.” “It’s not about what’s being said, but what’s left unsaid,” he explains. “The absence of daily check-ins, lack of eye contact, or failure to acknowledge a partner’s emotional needs creates a void that breeds loneliness and depression.” Over time, neglected partners often internalize the blame, believing they are unworthy of love, which can lead to severe self-esteem issues.
The mental health consequences are profound. Neglected spouses report higher rates of chronic stress, insomnia, and even somatic symptoms like headaches and digestive problems. Left unaddressed, emotional neglect can lead to emotional detachment, where one or both partners disengage entirely, making reconciliation difficult. Therapists emphasize the importance of early intervention, encouraging couples to prioritize emotional attunement—actively listening, validating feelings, and re-engaging in small acts of connection.
