What kind of children may be raised by different parenting styles

In the 1960s, parental education was divided into four types, namely authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting, indifferent parenting and authoritative parenting. The parenting style is divided into two dimensions. One dimension is “response”, which represents the warmth, love, understanding and empathy that parents give their children. Another dimension is “requirements,” which represent restrictions and rules, boundaries, and expectations that parents impose on their children. What are these four parenting styles? How do they affect children?

1. Authoritarian parenting Authoritarian parents use too much control, but not enough response to their children. Parents are mostly instructions and orders to their children, regardless of their children’s opinions. Often such families emphasize obedience, respect, and tradition. Parents are always right, and children who don’t follow the rules are often punished physically. Parents rarely hear their children’s voices and understand their children’s emotions. Authoritarian parents show little love for their children and are very alienated from their children. Willie’s father adopts this kind of parenting method. This way of not communicating with children can have many serious consequences for children. After children enter adolescence, they are more likely to be influenced by peers and show anti-social behavior. They will not discuss anything with their parents because they know from an early age that communication with their parents is ineffective. They will distance themselves from their parents’ values ​​and beliefs by ignoring and rebelling. Studies have shown that boys who grow up in this environment are the most likely to show violent behavior, lack of perseverance, extremely low self-esteem, poor social competitiveness, low autonomy, and little curiosity about knowledge.
2. Laissez-faire parents These types of parents give their children a lot of warmth and love, but it is difficult to set clear boundaries and rules for their children. Some parents listen to their children and often even reward their children for misbehavior. They can easily raise spoiled children. Phil, who grew up in a wealthy family, was one such child. Ironically, children are not happy with little discipline from their parents; instead, many children raised by permissive parents tend to be the least happy. Parent-child interactions teach children how to manipulate others. Children gain a false sense of control over adults, which increases their manipulative behavior. Children who grow up in this way of parenting usually have difficulty controlling their impulses, are immature, and are unwilling to take responsibility.
3. Indifferent parenting style Indifferent parents neither give warmth nor control. They themselves may be more self-centered and have little interest in children. Children raised by such parents have poor psychological adjustment ability. Without parental discipline, these children are likely to engage in premature sex, experiment with drugs and alcohol, and often become involved in criminal behavior. Pine, who died in a car accident, is one such child.
4. Authoritative parenting This parenting style is currently proven to be the most effective parenting style for children and adolescents. Children who grow up in this parenting mode have the best psychological adaptability. They are creative, intellectually curious, and maintain close relationships with their parents and friends. They have good self-management skills, self-confidence, initiative, and self-control.

What does authoritative parenting look like?

1. Give the child a response and care for the child, so that the child can feel the love and warmth from the parents. Children who grow up in this environment will maintain good communication with their parents, and they will ask their parents for advice when they encounter problems.
2. It is important to explain to the children why they are required to do this. When children are relatively young, they don’t understand why their parents expect certain behaviors from them in different situations, and they prefer to adopt behaviors that make them happy and comfortable, or behaviors that are instinctive and spontaneous. Parents who can patiently and skillfully explain “why” to their children can help children develop intellectually, learn to reason, understand the connection between two things, and develop morality and empathy.
3. Often discuss issues with children Many parents disdain to discuss issues with their children, feeling that children do not understand many things. But discussing a problem with a child is not exactly what to tell the child, but to convey to the child in this way the respect of the parent for the child. Through discussion, it is easier for children to think rationally and learn to think independently. Over time, they can perform well even when their parents are not around.
4. Appropriate expectations for children Like most parents, authoritative parents have higher expectations for their children. But they will support their children to meet these expectations, and they will also lower their own expectations when the child cannot. When helping children achieve their expectations, such as making children a responsible person and making them independent, they will gradually allow children to acquire this ability.
5. Maintain a balance between love and expectations Authoritative parents will take into account the child’s age characteristics, personality characteristics and specific occasions to balance the requirements (expectation) for the child and the degree of care given to the child.