Why do children always like to do the opposite of their parents and don’t obey? Parents’ nagging, abuse, venting… just give the child some junk information, only let the child know that he “did it wrong” but the information that the child really wants to know , such as “What’s wrong?” “How can I improve it?” “What should I do?” Over time, the child learns to take the time – after knowing that the parent has vented, what should he do? Distracted “disobedient” bad habits. Parents ignore the actual situation and intelligence characteristics of their children, and blindly ask their children to chase the top. For example, they must be first in exams, and they cannot fall behind everywhere. As a result, the children’s countless efforts have been exchanged for countless experiences of failure, and finally they have lost self-confidence and changed. Negative, low self-esteem, develop what parents ask for, and immediately give up bad habits.
Parents do not take into account the child’s receptive ability and inner needs, and often adopt “early education” and “forced education” that do not meet the characteristics of the child’s age, which makes the child daunted. Such as Jackie Chan teaching his son, seeing Lang Lang asks Jaycee Chan to play the piano, but the child sings; seeing Jay Chou asking Jaycee Chan to sing, but the child dances; for example, for the behavior training of children, parents always fantasize about themselves. Say that the child will do it right away, and the result will make him very satisfied. In fact, a lot of training requires parents to demonstrate and drive learning first, secondly, they need constant homeopathic guidance and methods, and thirdly, they need time to adapt and strengthen.
It didn’t work out well. Children like to follow the teachings of their elders from a young age, and strengthen their own behavior through affirmation and encouragement, so as to learn to do things and think, and finally form their own inherent behavioral patterns and thinking patterns. Many children are used to being pampered at home and listening to good words, and as a result, when they arrive at school, they do not receive the same courtesy – affirmation or praise, and even criticism. As a result, children feel that listening to their parents is a disadvantage, so they stop listening to their parents. For example, parents praise their children for being smart, but teachers do not recognize them when they go to school; they are independent, free and indulgent at home, and they are not welcome at school because they are domineering; casually interjecting and talking at home is regarded as impolite at school because they intervene. Start to learn to think independently, start to try to learn to choose. With the growth of children’s age, the enrichment of knowledge and the increase of experience, more and more children begin to learn to observe, think and reflect. Especially when the child reaches the upper grades of primary school, the parents’ words will be “reprocessed” unconsciously, and they will be re-identified and selected. When parents speak contrary to their own ideas, children usually adopt such a way of thinking, that is, “dilemma-balance-choice”. The dilemma is a frequently encountered problem. Balance is a kind of wisdom, and choice is a strategy.
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