As the only children born in the late 1970s and 1980s gradually enter the peak period of marriage, how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has become a thorny problem for them.
Many couples are afraid of their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to avoid marriage, some young couples are troubled by it, and even the family is broken…
Living under the same roof in the new era of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, is it more difficult to “family”?
Hongdou user “Yuxiaoyanran 2009” was on the verge of divorce from her loving husband because of her poor relationship with her mother-in-law.
Let’s take a look at their story — my wife, having a disagreement with my mother, asked me to rent a house.
But the home is a mother, I am an only child, I leave home after the home is mother alone, mother is 50 years old, worked hard to raise me, how can I leave my mother a person?
Even if the old people are wrong, I, as a junior, can only tolerate the mistakes of the elders. After all, the previous generation is hungry, and the character developed in decades can not be changed overnight.
Just NOW THE WIFE CAME BACK TO TAKE THINGS, BECAUSE OF THE QUARREL, SHE PUSHED MY MOTHER ONCE, MY MOOD IS VERY excited, HIT THE WIFE A MEAL, I ALSO KNOW WRONG, BUT I REALLY CAN’T CONTROL MYSELF.
Now the wife is determined to divorce, I have no words, also do not want to say.
Hey, guys, what do you think I should do?
Am I wrong?
What went wrong?
Husband, I met you during the Spring Festival in 2006. At that time, I was a senior. You were my first love.
Even though you’re just a bus driver, I still want to be with you.
I got pregnant soon after graduation, and when my parents found out, they were dead set against me being with you, almost killing me as a daughter.
During that time, you always called me back to Yulin, saying that your family is not short of my bowl of rice.
After a second thought, I quit my job as an engineer in Midea Refrigeration Group and returned to Yulin.
Because I was a few months pregnant when I came back, and I studied central air conditioning design, which was not useful in Yulin, so I couldn’t work any more.
But my mother-in-law kept asking me to work.
Honey, how could anyone want a job for someone who’s about to have a baby?
My mother-in-law was not pleased because I had given birth to a daughter.
After leaving the hospital, we didn’t know anything, and our mother-in-law didn’t teach us.
Because of the poor care, the child fell ill, but the mother-in-law refused to take the child to the hospital, we took advantage of the mother-in-law is not at home to take the child to the hospital.
Mother-in-law know after noisy to bring the child back, you do not want to, mother-in-law scolded very badly, I closed the door in the room not to make a sound, only let the tears flow.
Maybe it was because I had to take the baby to the hospital, and your mother didn’t cook for me when she was cooking, and I was only about 10 days old when I needed nutrition.
The child was born by her mother-in-law called a monster, has been called until now.
I tell you to ask the mother-in-law not to scold the child like this, you tell me that in Yulin monster is not abusive.
Honestly, the worst thing I can’t take is when my mother-in-law doesn’t allow us to sleep with the door closed and asks us to keep it open at all times.
Such a day almost a year, and mother-in-law’s room is in our immediate next door, the door is close to each other, two room doors open together, I feel that we three people sleeping in a room is no different.
Last night I pushed my mother-in-law because she said she was going to call my mother and tell her I had no manners. She was going to scold my mother.
My mom cried too much for me, and I didn’t want her to get hurt any more, so I pushed your mom away when she went to get your phone.
She didn’t hurt, she didn’t fall, and you hit me, and you went into the kitchen with a knife, and I’d be dead right now if someone hadn’t been there.
Husband, let me and the child move out to live, you can go at any time, I will often take the child back to see the mother-in-law filial piety her old people.
There are four types of mothers-in-law who are the most difficult to get along with, according to an official at a marriage and family guidance center.
In their eyes, their son is more important than their husband. They always think that their daughter-in-law is not as good to their son as they are.
The second is the mother-in-law with a high degree, because they have high cultural knowledge, career has been good, generally have a strong desire to control, very considerate of face, hope that people around her must follow her ideas to do.
Third, the mother-in-law with serious feudal ideology, generally read less books, not easy to understand the living habits of the next generation, what is more, if you gave birth to a daughter, the whole life said you can’t do it.
In addition, “stingy” mothers-in-law can be difficult to get along with.
“Mean” mother-in-law that is narrow-minded, easy to haggle over every detail, for some trivial life or human accidents, with daughter-in-law grudge, encounter things make endless.
Li Min, a state-level marriage and family instructor at Jilin Women and Children’s Psychological Counseling Center, said: “We should deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law well.
She believes that older people are prone to loneliness and desire to live with their children.
Even if meet “unreasonable” mother-in-law, daughter-in-law side also should take the initiative to extend the hand of communication, share happiness with the mother-in-law, appropriately with some wisdom to conquer the stubbornness of the mother-in-law.
Of course, the mother-in-law should also be a little more understanding.
“Family is not a place for reason, but for feeling.”
Experts believe that China’s traditional main body family is very different from the past, to maintain the stability of the new family system, communication and listening is the best way.
Female self-reliance will be happy on female friends in marriage disputes facing the problem, experts point out: one, female friends first to self-reliance, self-improvement, can not blindly hope on the spouse, give up their own efforts, to have their own career and independent economic income;
Second, as an independent woman in the new era, the traditional virtues can not be lost, emphasizing kindness to others, tolerance, care for family members, especially treat each other’s parents and relatives, “a good word is three points of warmth”, avoid unnecessary disputes, hard to create a harmonious family environment;
Three, in the face of domestic violence, spouse cheating and other principled issues, can not blindly tolerate and connivance, to pluck up the courage to take up legal weapons to safeguard their legitimate rights and interests.
What do you do with a husband in the middle?
Sandwiched between wife and mother, the most suffering is the man…
In dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is very important for the husband to play his own role. If the husband can timely communicate, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can get mutual understanding.
On the contrary, if the husband also haggle over every ounce, it is likely to lead to deeper conflicts.
A good “double-sided glue” should be both a good counselor and a good consigliere. The so-called good counselor is to say that everyone should try to say what they feel. The so-called good consigliere is to mean that when dealing with relationships, there must be strategies.
Of course, the principle to remember is which relationship is the most important in your life.
