During her recent visit to China, US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said in an interview with Yang LAN, “As a working woman, it is really a happy thing to have elderly people help with housework.”
Yang LAN, who also lives with her mother-in-law, feels the same way.
According to a survey conducted by an Internet portal, more than 40 percent of white-collar workers are unwilling to “cohabit” with their parents because they are afraid of dealing with their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
However, financial constraints now force more and more young people, even “individual” Americans, to live with their parents under the same roof.
The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is like gunpowder.
Why can Hillary and Yang LAN, two smart women, not only avoid, but also get along well with their parents?
“The secret is gratitude,” said Shen Li, a senior career planner and director of the family and marriage evaluation planning system at the China Career Development Research and Training Institute.
Shen Li said that Hillary is very clear that housework is her job, and her mother’s arrival helps her share the housework, so she is very happy and grateful to her mother.
With this gratitude, she naturally would not be picky about her mother.
A lot of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the fuse is some trivial life, do housework who more who less;
Whether to wash clothes with soap or detergent;
More and less water for cooking;
Should I discipline my children with pet or strict discipline?
None of these questions is right or wrong, but enough to make both sides blush.
To solve these problems, Shen believes that mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law and sons must play their roles well.
Husband and wife are the center of the family, and they need to bear all the responsibilities, including doing housework, taking care of the children and honoring their parents. Only when the relationship between husband and wife is close, can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be good.
For parents, since they live in their children’s home, they should understand that “I can be my wife’s home, but I can’t be my son’s wife’s home.”
I’ve spent most of my life trying to manipulate my family.
After the role positioning, a lot of problems will be solved.
The daughter-in-law thanked her mother-in-law for sharing the housework, and the mother-in-law thanked her son and daughter-in-law for bringing her to live with her and enjoying the warmth of the big family.
Such gratitude and tolerance require both parties to give at the same time, otherwise one party may feel very tired from giving too much.
In addition, the son’s decision-making is particularly important in helping the mother and daughter-in-law find the right roles.
On the one hand, the husband should give his wife a very clear attitude, “you are the first in my heart, but we should honor our parents together.”
A son, on the other hand, has to tell his mother, “I know you’re doing what’s best for me, but it’s not necessarily right for me.”
In this way, you really let your parents know that you are old enough to make your own decisions and take responsibility for them.
