According to a recent survey released by Horizon Research, 46.4 percent of the 1,677 respondents said their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a good relationship, while 49.2 percent said they have minor conflicts but get along well.
Eileen Chang once said that all women are enemies.
The Chinese-style “psychological dark war” between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always hurt the body and feelings. Is it really so easy to dissolve?
Wang Yuru, chairman of the Shanghai Association of Psychological Counseling, said the survey was in line with the actual situation and symbolized a healthier attitude towards the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
First of all, with the development of social concepts and economy, the traditional “fuse”, such as daughter-in-law giving birth to a boy or a girl, and who will support the elderly, is no longer a problem.
Third, more and more young people have lower expectations on the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, believing that the relationship is inherently flawed and cannot be pursued for perfection.
“There are many young people who feel that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not the main relationship in life, and it is not enough and should not affect their lives. The fewer conflicts is actually the result of the weakening of the relationship.”
“Said Wang.
On the contrary, Guorong Guo-rong, director of Suzhou Jung Psychological Counseling Center, believes that the current relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not as optimistic as the statistics suggest.
“The ‘nuclear family’ model has become the mainstream of contemporary Chinese society, which is a major reason for the good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.”
In an interview with the “Life Times” reporter Guorong said that the “nuclear family” consists of parents and the only child, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contact less, the contradiction will be reduced naturally.
According to the data, the contradiction between urban mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fighting for the “right to speak” and rural mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fighting for the division of housework is still common.
How can this problem be solved?
Guorong thought that the daughter-in-law should be at the right time to buy small gifts for her mother-in-law, in order to convey the message that “you have her in your heart”.
“There is a daughter-in-law in Shaanxi, and her mother-in-law has not been good relations. Once, under the advice of others, she bought her mother-in-law two boxes of her favorite Qinqiang tape, did not want to win the favor of her mother-in-law.”
Wang Guorong said, do not always want to change the mother-in-law, also do not use the old generation of “ruler” to measure the daughter-in-law, as far as possible daughter-in-law as their own daughter is the best way.
In addition, once the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law friction, do the son (husband) also want to play a good “double-sided glue” function, both coax, and at the same time impartial is good.
