Late at night, I received a phone call from my girlfriend. I knew she must have quarreled with her husband again.
Sure enough, as soon as he picked up the phone, he said, “He’s on a business trip. He promised to call me when he arrived to let me know that he was okay, but he didn’t call me until I called him. He was having dinner and said he forgot.
Ruo, you say Lin Qiang is what man ah, he has me in his heart?
Has he stopped caring about me?”
I listened and answered, trying to be appropriate.
But if she had listened carefully, she would have heard the perfunctory part of my speech.
I could not tell how I felt, but it seemed to me that all her stories were pretentious, showing me how happy she was.
I grew up with a single.
I mean, she saved my life once. Yes, we lived and died together.
When I was 12, we went to the park, and I fell into the lake.
Simply jumping in recklessly and pulling me to “swim” to the shore, she was just as landlubber as I was.
We almost drowned that time, but thankfully we managed to pull through.
Just say, perhaps is the king of hell do not want us, ha ha.
How can she laugh!
I ask only, you don’t know the water also regardless of regardless to jump into the water, do you know that will send their own life?
“What will I do if you die?”
I think, it is a simple truth, at that time she can’t do without me.
Before the age of 23, I had the same experience: going to school, getting admitted to a prestigious university, graduating to a foreign company with a good salary.
Two girls with long hair, beautiful clothes, delicious food and high spirits, enjoying all the beautiful things that youth has given us.
And, of course, men. “Men, I want to be handsome, tall, and considerate.”
I remember very clearly saying this while we were sitting down the street in a soda fountain.
That is the age of dreaming, there is no trouble, if there is, our trouble is the same.
A year later, our lives diverged: we simply had a sweetheart, his name was Lin Qiang, they fell in love, soon got engaged, and soon got married.
It seems to be just a blink of an eye, a single life has stepped up several steps, I can only look at the same time to leave me.
Even after marriage, he still asked me to meet him as often as before.
Lin Qiang joked that he felt like a third party.
Just feel very happy, left hand love right hand friendship, life is so happy.
She also introduced me to a boyfriend, and she would accompany me on blind dates, sometimes with Lin Qiang.
Lin Qiang is indeed a Prince charming, tall, handsome, warm and introverted, just as the original dream.
Of course, that’s my type. We always see eye to eye.
So when blind date, I always take them intentionally or unintentionally compared with Lin Qiang, more and more feel that those men are not as good as Lin Qiang, at least also want to be as excellent as Lin Qiang?
Of course these are in my mind, is absolutely not with the only talk.
Simply this wench is very simple, mouth without blocking, perhaps she will say to Lin Qiang listen, spread to Lin Qiang in the ear to let a person more embarrassing ah.
Perhaps because of Lin Qiang’s sake, perhaps because fate has not arrived.
A few years passed, and my aunt was still alone.
The title of “older youth” is naturally vexing.
Only seems not to understand my heart, often meet, she is always a few words to pull the topic to Lin Qiang body.
Lin Qiang’s tenderness and consideration, Lin Qiang’s lovely overbearing……
Everything was strange to me, and I longed for it.
I looked at her, and no matter how I looked at her, it was like she was showing off her happiness.
At last she never forgot to say: “If, you also quickly look for one.”
There was a time when I was in a bad mood, and I often went to a bar to drink alone.
Once drunk in a stupor, the bar owner used my mobile phone to make a “distress” call. It was a single call, but it was Lin Qiang.
Lin Qiang said: “Just not feeling well, let me take good care of you.”
That day Lin Qiang sent me home, a door, I fell, Lin Qiang came to help me, I took advantage of the opportunity to embrace his neck.
Looking at this handsome man, think of only that happy face, at that moment, from the only side to take the idea of Lin Qiang flash.
The thought lasted only a second, but it was long enough to make me break out in a cold sweat.
How could I be so mean?
Just trust me, care about me, if I lose her, how to face her in the future?
I let go of Lin Qiang, Lin Qiang very worried, said: “Only repeatedly told me to take care of you.”
But I let him go, because I didn’t know what I was gonna do next.
Soon I was promoted because of my excellent work.
I thought God had been kind to me. In spite of the marriage, she was indifferent and still an ordinary clerk. I’m afraid she will always be.
It gives me a sense of equality.
He invited me to dinner to congratulate me on my promotion.
I know only from the heart, just like when she saved me, she has always been so kind.
The more ashamed I became.
I almost cursed myself at the fleeting thought.
That summer, she told me only that she and Lin Qiang had agreed to have a baby.
I listened for a long time to say no words, I think, I was that feeling is not jealous?
If we only add a baby, we are more “tall”.
Am I really going to lose my single?
I know this is my own narrow and selfish in the cause, I hate myself, also hate alone.
Full do not know hungry Hanhanhunger, how does she not experience my psychology?
But what’s wrong with it?
Three years later, I am still single and my daughter is two years old.
The little girl was naughty and cute, and when I went, she would run into my arms and rub herself against my face.
How I longed to have such a child for myself, and simply said, “If so, you will have one someday.”
It was a very common remark, but it vexed me for days. It seemed to me to conceal too much pity and sympathy.
Is she feeling sorry for me?
Is she laughing at me?
All this has seriously affected my life and work.
In fact, there are many colleagues and other friends around me. They are also married and have children. Why don’t I feel much about them, but only envy them?
I know it’s not fair to a single person.
But I just can’t face her happiness, can’t face the growing distance between us.
Once I saw the phrase “toxic friends” on the Internet.
This means that if a friend makes you unhappy, then that friend is toxic and it’s better to cut them off.
I wanted to be done with only, but the thought of cutting only out of my life completely made my heart ache.
She has been a part of my life for so many years. How can I part with her?
Just like a lingering shadow hovering around me, as long as I breathe, I can smell her happiness.
And this is the smell that takes my breath away.
Psychological comments: Envy is a kind of emotion that most people have experienced. It is the frustration, dissatisfaction or resentment we feel towards certain abilities, wealth, family and marriage that others have but we don’t have.
More serious jealousy, is a kind of pathological dark psychology, it will reduce the person’s happiness, damage the person’s interpersonal relationship.
“I” was confused: “There are so many colleagues and other friends around me. They are also married and have children. Why don’t I feel much for them, but only envy them?”
Psychological research has found that jealousy is usually more likely to occur between classmates, colleagues and friends who are close or close to each other, and less likely to occur between people who are not close to themselves or strangers.
Because jealousy often happens to people who are our equals and can form a competitive relationship.
Just like the “I” and friends, the original two people are in the same horizontal line, two personal growth trajectory and conditions are same, but the love of two people the opportunity and life development difference is bigger and bigger, resulting in “I” psychological imbalance, in the comparison of intangible, felling oneself be in a position of disadvantage and inferiority.
The bitterness of inferiority and the poison of jealousy may breed unconsciously.
In addition, the closer and closer the relationship is, the more contact opportunities, the clearer and more specific the understanding of their superiority, the more intense the stimulation of jealousy nerve.
So how can “I” overcome my jealousy of mere things?
The main reason for jealousy lies in the problems of the parties’ values and thinking patterns.
People who are prone to jealousy tend to be vanity and possessive. They think that they are valuable only when they are better, happier and superior than their peers.
But there is no absolute superiority in the world, everyone has not as good as others, and in the appearance, marriage and other aspects, not by individual efforts will be able to change and the difference between others.
For this kind of psychology, first, it is necessary to enhance self-confidence.
“I” has its own uniqueness, if “I” really learn to abandon the pursuit of superiority and vanity, like themselves, cherish life, do not use others’ standards to set their own, “I” can overcome inferiority, find happiness and self-confidence.
Second, ruler is short, inch is strong, learn reasonable attribution and comparison, to maintain a psychological balance will also be helpful.
Third, in “me” and only in future relationships, if she talks about her husband and children again, you can find a reasonable excuse to change the subject, block the stimulus, or calmly express your inner feelings to her: “I may be sensitive, what you say makes me feel pity.”
And so on.
