Seven nights after my wedding, I was just his virgin model Trine was a painter, and he was clean-cut, not at all unkempt like some artists.
I met him at an art festival.
I am the working PERSON OF THE NATIONALITY VILLAGE, HAVE A FEW FRIENDS THAT MAKE ART, Lin KE IS a FRIEND TO INTRODUCE ACQUAINTANCE.
I fell in love with Lin’s handsome, healthy looks and artist’s romantic temperament, as well as his admiration for my handsome figure.
In this way, we fell in love.
The artistic quality of Linke makes her very romantic, and our romantic time is much more than what other lovers should have.
Lin is a good at finding beauty, a very common leaf, a floating cloud he gives infinite beauty.
He drew a lot of sketches to me, the picture of me lightly smiling, quiet and refined, there is a free from vulgarity of the lady demeanor, than the reality of me to be much more beautiful.
Lin Ke beautifies me with pen and color, which gives me a soft happiness in my heart.
As time went by, I found that Lin Ke looked at me with gentler eyes every day, which made my heart feel sweet every moment. We had a warm hug, also had a sweet kiss, but never broke through the last line of defense.
As a woman, longing for love to be intimate contact between the lovers often make me some impulse, I am not a strong woman, plus forests as excellent and outstanding, I think if he has further move in our intimacy I also promised to him, because my heart has put him as a life partner.
Lin Ke, however, showed great restraint at critical moments. Every time I noticed that he seemed to be struggling with himself, and I almost dropped my feminine reserve and said to him, “Darling, come on, I’m yours.”
In this impetuous atmosphere is full of “fast food” era, a strong inhibition of the person seems to be a rare treasure, and finally, Lin Ke and I smoothly into the marriage.
I have seen countless bridal chamber, but I think without any can be comparable with me and Lin Ke bridal chamber, whole room flowers, a if have if no aroma everywhere diffuse, “Butterfly lovers” Madadayo echo, red candle shining.
The pink bed waited in an inviting silence for us to fall into.
I am the happiest bride in the world. My heart rises and falls in the face of such beautiful scenery.
I waited nervously for the moment to come.
Lin Ke kissed me, very gently, and then he said in the same gentle voice, “I want to make this night forever.”
He gently peeled off my clothes, layer by layer, and I shivered with great happiness.
“How beautiful you are!
Like Venus!”
Lin Ke stared at my skin like snow, seems to have entered the realm of things I forget.
His admiration of my body set me on fire, and I longed for Lin’s powerful caress and frantic aggression.
Linker didn’t do that. He picked me up and walked to the other room, which was his studio.
He put me on a piece of white cloth, I looked at him puzzled, he smiled gently, then brought the brush and paint, put on a painting posture.
A moment of spring is worth a thousand gold.
Though I found Lin a little hard to understand, I said nothing.
Lin Ke took me as a vivid canvas, according to my exquisite body curve, on my body to draw the first brush…
“You’re so beautiful!”
“I’m going to take a picture of it when it’s done and make it a permanent memory,” he said, his voice moving.
Though I longed for him, I was as intoxicated by his love for me as by this confession, and I lay still.
Linke painted very carefully, the minutes passed, the air smelled of lust, the heart of the suppressed fire beat little by little.
Finally, Lin stopped.
I thought he would come and hold me tight in the most beautiful spiritual union in the world.
Lin didn’t. He carried me back to the bedroom, laid me gently on the bed, tucked me in, and went back to his studio.
Part of me can’t believe this is going to be my wedding night.
The next day, Lin was still hard at work in the studio, as if forgetting that last night was our wedding night and that we were on our honeymoon.
The second night, the third night…
I was still a virgin. Lin Ke seemed to have an inexhaustible creative passion. He painted one painting after another.
Every night I would lie on the wedding bed with no clothes on. Lin Ke was very devoted once he entered the state of creation. His expression was focused and his eyes were shining.
And my heart is like a fire, like there are ten million bugs scratching, I want to hug, want to touch, want to…
Time has no end, the suppression of the fire little by little exuberant, my heart cried out: “I want!
I want to!”
A second time to move forward ¢ I long heart gradually cooling, I look look in the eyes gradually dim down ¢ burning passion I slowly disappear.
Could Lin be…
My mind was occupied with speculation, so I asked Lin Ke if he had been injured in a car accident, etc., but was denied.
In doubt, I looked up Linke’s medical record again. When I knew everything was normal, I remembered that we didn’t pass the pre-marriage examination smoothly.
So why on earth has Lin been avoiding my skin?
“Lin Ke, IS it a happy THING for lovers TO GET married?”
I can not let go of the woman’s reserve, I can only ask him in such a roundabout way, “Yes, is a happy thing.”
Lin replied in the affirmative.
“So what does a couple in love do when they get together?”
I pressed while the iron was hot, and this time Linke was silent, then studious to avoid the subject.
And instead of drawing my beautiful body and my sleeping position, he went to sleep in the guest room. No one would believe that we slept in separate rooms on the seventh day of our marriage.
This was not the marriage I wanted. I was a normal woman, and all the feelings I had stored up for more than 20 years and the sexual desires I had fantasized about for years were stirred up and down by the smell of marriage. Lying in my big, lonely marital bed, I wept night after night.
Colorful new house lost color in my heart, in the face of the future I am more confused and at a loss.
One night, after tossing and turning for an unknown amount of time, I still couldn’t fall asleep. I got out of bed and went to the living room. I curled up on the couch silently, staring straight at Lin Ke’s door.
Later, I stood up and walked past, the door was not locked, gently pushed to open, Lin Ke sleep very sweet, I lay down beside him, I reached out to touch him, I decided to put down the reserve, tonight, I want to become his woman, I want to solve a mystery.
Linke woke up. He took my wandering hand and held me in his arms, but he didn’t accept me as I thought he would.
I don’t understand how a man with a lot of energy can be so indifferent when he’s carrying a soft nephrite.
I cried. Lin wiped my tears with his hand. I stopped him. “Am I not gentle enough?
Or is there someone else in you…”
Lin Ke got out of bed and walked restlessly up and down the room.
“You are a gentle and beautiful woman. In my mind, you, you are a saint, a goddess, and cannot be violated…”
“No!
I’m not a saint, I’m not a Venus, I’m a wife, a wife, Linko, do you understand?”
I put my arms around him and shook him. Lin looked down, as if he was in pain.
Then he looked up, as if he wanted to say something, but stopped.
“Linke, YOU HAVE WHAT SAY TO ME, WE THINK METHOD TOGETHER GOOD?”
I gently put my arms around him, I want to open his heart with tenderness.
Lin Ke was silent for a long time, until he finally plucked up the courage to speak.
“…
One night, when I was 13, I saw my mother’s body…
I had an impulse…
Although I knew it was a shameful thing to do, I couldn’t help myself. I used every opportunity to spy on my mother.
One night, the mother slept like a log, I quietly touch to go in, because it is in the summer, can’t stand the heat’s mother did not cover, and I found that she was naked upper body, through the light outside the window made her body take in everything in a glance, I think the whole body blood boiling, my hand moved as if driven by the devil in the mother…
Just as I was forgetting myself, I got a blow on the head, and my mother woke up. “You brute!
I’m your mother!”
The mother beat and cursed.
I fled to my room and watched the dawn as I quietly left the house.
Although I returned home later, there was a deep gap between me and my mother. Her eyes, abandoned by my father many years ago, no longer showed me the love and kindness of the past. Instead, there was deep despair and hatred that frightened me.
Until one day, unable to let go, my mother left me forever.
I felt so alone that I felt guilty, and this sinful psychology accompanied me for many years until I grew up. Although I was still attracted to the female body, I found that it was just a kind of appreciation. A beautiful woman is a virgin Mary in my mind and cannot be profaned…
Whenever I had that thought, I suppressed it with all my might, sometimes even punishing my own body, and at last I found myself without the function of a man.”
Lin Ke said that all this has been tears.
A great pity made me hug him tightly, because Lin Ke had such a heavy heart.
“Lin Ke, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I love you and I don’t want to lose you.”
His voice made my heart ache softly. “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have hidden this.”
“Linke, IT’S NOT ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT. I love you. Let’S FIGHT THE demons together, OKAY?”
I was determined to work with Linke to overcome the psychological barrier.
Although sex is not the whole life, but also to maintain the relationship between husband and wife bond, I love Lin Ke, I don’t want me and Lin Ke love is not interesting.
I long for the late happy moment to come some day.
Expert comments: Since ancient times, in the majority of marriage, between the sexes roughly maintained a relatively equal position.
Only a relationship of mutual respect, equality and love can maintain long-term stability.
Contrary to the equal relationship, two extreme attitudes are poisons that seriously affect the love and marriage relationship and the quality of life of the couple. One is to regard the other person as a god, full of admiration and worship, and behave in a humble and obedient manner, never dare to have sexual desire.
The first is to treat each other as tools, only light and contempt in the heart, behavior is rude possession, immediately abandoned, never consider each other’s physical and spiritual needs.
Clearly, the artist’s sexual attitude towards his wife falls into the former extreme.
He regarded his wife as a sacred and inviolable god. In the face of his wife’s attractive curves, what emerged in his heart was the inspiration and enthusiasm for artistic creation generated by sublimation of instinctive desire, rather than the sexual impulse and mating behavior of possession and integration.
So for many days after the wedding, the wife remained a wife in name only, and remained a perfect virgin.
The reason for his strange behavior was not that his wife lacked charm, but rather that her charm triggered some repressed complex in him.
From his experience, in the process of sexual development, psychological sexual development encountered obstacles.
The sexual contact of the mother, because violates the common human sexual taboos, scolded by his mother, for women desire is a powerful moral pressure, the result is a direct sexual impulses under moral pressure, sublimation is respect for women, respect, direct contact with the desire of female body, sublimation and expression to find curvaceous appreciation.
That’s why he became a painter, and that’s why he painted on his wedding night instead of having sex.
After his mother’s tragic death, he felt more remorse for his loneliness and for having had sexual desire for his mother, which again strengthened his obstruction to the direct expression of female sexual desire.
