In marriage, seeing the part that your partner doesn’t like is actually something in yourself. When you change him, you can’t actually do it yourself. Everything happens within ourselves, those outside are just your inner projection. We treat our lover as a projection board, and hope that what we can’t do can be realized in him. What we can’t change, hopefully he can. In addition, our own feelings cannot be comforted or responsible, so let his feelings comfort you. Or you unconsciously cause trouble for the other party and throw your negative things to the other party. It is not fair to ask the other party to correct something that cannot be corrected. We must never change another person. You want him to improve, it’s just a projection of yourself. At the same time, one of the biggest fantasies in our world is that we mistakenly believe that we can control everything and change others, but we find that we cannot. In husband and wife relationships, we often encounter people who want to transform each other. In that case, it will not be particularly easy to cause conflicts between the two, and make the love life go in a bad direction.
The part that your partner doesn’t like is actually in you. After a man and a woman get married, they hope that the woman will never change, the youthful, beautiful, and pure girl before marriage, but the woman wants the man to change. For example, if he had such deficiencies before marriage, he would be a good teacher after marriage. But sorry, both sides let the other down. The woman has changed and become like a yellow-faced woman, but the man has remained the same, still the same virtue. So in marriage, you find that the part you see that your partner doesn’t like is actually something inside of yourself, so when you want to change him, you can’t actually do it. It is not fair to ask the other party to correct something that cannot be corrected. Therefore, if you want to achieve spiritual growth and self-growth, and see the unknown self, you will know that everything happens within us, and those outside are just your inner projection. 02 We must never change another person. Wanting him to improve is just his own projection. At the same time, one of the biggest fantasies in our world is that we mistakenly believe that we can control everything and change others, but we find that we cannot. What you can do is create the environment that the other person wants to change, but you can never change the other person. Like I am with my kids, I know I can’t change them, but I will still say it, but I have love and support and understanding.
I said, Mom thinks it’s right and you don’t listen, that’s your business, I respect you, you suffer, you suffer. For example, I tell them not to bring their phone or laptop with them all day. I said to my daughter: Now many people can’t get pregnant. They lie in bed and put their laptop on their stomach. The electromagnetic wave has a lot of damage to the organs. Now I can’t feel it. When one day I can’t have a baby, you are in pain. Mom’s words tell you that it was you who suffered at that time, I wanted you to suffer, and I had nothing to do with you. I should say, I expressed my love, I expressed my support, but they have to suffer, let them suffer.
How to communicate with a lover? The same goes for lovers. In the book “Reluctant to Let Your Loved One Suffer”, the person I love goes out to date and gets drunk, I am very angry, I want to quarrel with him, scold him, and say I can’t do it next time. But, on second thought, I realized that I was a god again, how could I decide what was best for him? I’m angry because I’m afraid that his drinking may be bad for his health, he’s not in good health, it will affect our quality of life in the future, I may take care of him, or he will leave me earlier, I’m afraid to face these results, so I think control him. However, people are arrogant, we think we can control, in fact, we have no control at all.
I have lived for most of my life thinking that people really do not have the ability to control many things, and we delusionally have to control them. What’s your reason for wanting to control your lover? The reason is that I want him to live happily and have a good future. But if I’m arguing with him right now and feeling out of tune about it, wouldn’t it ruin my happiness right now? If I often interfere in his every move, the two of us will not get along well, don’t wait until the future, it’s already unhappy now. Seeing this, I let it go.
Wisdom communication: to love and communicate with a lover, we have consciousness, no consciousness, no consciousness, we want to treat the lover as a projection board, we can’t do it, we want to realize it in him. What we can’t change, hopefully he can. There are also our own feelings, which we cannot comfort or take responsibility for, so let his feelings comfort us. Or you unconsciously cause trouble for the other party and throw your negative things to the other party. Previous page 12345 Next page Intimacy is so beautiful, why did it become unfamiliar, like an enemy? I think it’s because of intimacy that isn’t consciously managed. Have the courage, wisdom, want to look back on yourself, see the problems, contradictions, what can be changed between the two of you, and don’t put all the responsibility on the other side is the most important.
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