No matter what stage we are in in our work life,
I always wish I had more friends and less enemies.
Those who are outspoken and never care about other people’s opinions are basically incapable of dealing with social relationships, and they are not really able to live that free and easy life.
But in real life, even if we are good to others everywhere and give way to others in everything, it is inevitable that some people will oppose us.
The specific source of these hostile emotions is all kinds of strange. In a word, as long as you don’t look good to you, what you do will be problematic!
And this kind of thing, most people will be very annoyed, so we choose to stay away? Or fight back?
In fact, in this case, it is the fundamental difference between humans and animals that is reflected.
For example, if you offend a dog, the dog will chase you and bite,
And you, either bitten by it, or biting back at it, or fleeing in a hurry,
But we are not dogs, we are humans, we can control our emotions, we can think rationally,
We can completely turn enemies into friends.
Many people’s first reaction after being hostile is to do it with him, either I die or he is cowardly,
As everyone knows, in the process of trying to destroy the enemy, this confrontation will make both sides fall into irrationality.
Sun Tzu’s Art of War has a saying that “the upper armies will attack the plot, the second will be attacked, the second will be attacked, and the lower will attack the city”,
All the top social elites must rely on strategy, not bloody battles under the city to resolve conflicts.
That is why a hundred victories in a hundred battles are not a good person, and a soldier who subdues a man without fighting is a good person.
The enemy does not necessarily need to be destroyed, the enemy can also be turned into a friend,
If you destroy the enemy, you will be damaged to some extent, at least it will consume a lot of time and energy.
But if we turn our enemies into friends, it is undeniable that we will increase our strength,
For example, infighting in the company, this common phenomenon, most people will choose to fight back and confront,
Under the open and secret struggle, either loses both, and is laughed at by others, even if the winner is determined, it is always not beautiful.
So how do you turn an enemy into a friend? In fact, it lies in the word “emotional intelligence“.
Emotional intelligence is a very complex issue. Countless mentors and famous teachers did not hesitate to write books to analyze emotional intelligence.
In fact, here, I only simply divide it into four parts:
- Understand your emotions
- Control your emotions
- Understand the emotions of others
- Manipulate the emotions of others
If these four parts are expanded, it will be relatively cumbersome, so I won’t go into details here. If you are interested in knowing more, you can tell me in the message area, and I will open a new post later to discuss how to improve emotional intelligence. Today we are talking about turning the enemy into an enemy. As a friend, I have summed up a set of methods that are very simple and practical.
- Manipulate emotions
- Admit inadequacy
- Praise the opponent
- Reflect value
First of all, when conflicts arise, you must first calm down and avoid entering irrational confrontations.
Then, induce the other party to calm down through words or intermediaries, so as to establish an effective communication channel,
The next step is to admit one’s own inadequacies. It is emphasized here that face is not important, not even right or wrong.
Since the other party chooses to be your enemy, it means that he is dissatisfied with a certain aspect of you, and this dissatisfaction is usually not groundless,
Even if there is a misunderstanding, don’t rush to explain it, admit your own shortcomings first, it will make the other party counteract the resentment.
Then praise the other party, don’t feel embarrassed, people are very narcissistic, if you dare to praise him, he will dare to believe it,
If this series of operations, coupled with the verbal expression of your high emotional intelligence, basically the hostile relationship has been resolved,
At this time, another step is needed, that is, to properly reflect your own value, here is the perfect “turning an enemy into a friend”.
For example, if you planned a marketing plan in the company, you were humiliated and joked in public by your colleagues, saying that you were a layman and did not understand sales talk.
At this time, most people will become angry and fight back immediately, taking advantage of all the shortcomings of the other party, even their appearance, body, and private life to attack,
At this time, not only will he lose his character, but he will also establish a mortal enemy that cannot be solved.
If it were me, I would answer this right,
My marketing plan is really not good enough, so I have been learning. I joined the company’s sales department because the boss thinks that my language skills are good. In the negotiation, I can handle the most tricky customers, but yours The marketing ability is indeed second to none in the company. I personally admire it very much. If you think there is something wrong with my plan, you can take this opportunity to ask you for advice and improve yourself.
The above coping plan, first of all, controls one’s own emotions, avoids conflicts, also admits one’s own shortcomings, praises the other party, and at the same time shows one’s own advantages and strengths, implying the development of cooperation in the future,
Under normal circumstances, at this time, the other party will scratch his head embarrassedly and say,
In fact, your plan is not useless, there are many new ideas in it, but your sales foundation is a bit poor, and some places are imaginative. I will teach you two tricks, and you will understand what is going on! However, your language skills are really good. If there is a chance for us to cooperate, how can there be a list that we can’t talk about!
In fact, the improvement of emotional intelligence does not happen overnight. It can be done just like cats and tigers.
But it is never wrong to be sincere to others, and it is not wrong to work hard to improve one’s strength in any aspect.
Therefore, life is endless and learning is endless. I hope that friends can continue to sublimate and become winners in life!
