In my previous posts, I used humor to address the challenges of being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and the struggles it can bring to marriages. However, I’ve received feedback that the lighthearted tone was not well received. I hope to clarify that ADD and its impact on relationships are serious issues, and while humor can be a coping mechanism, it may not always be the most effective way to communicate these struggles.
It’s well-established that individuals with ADD have highly active imaginations. This is due, in part, to the constant theta frequencies in the frontal lobe, a state associated with heightened suggestibility, similar to a “hypnagogic trance.” The downside of this is difficulty focusing on the immediate reality—often drifting into daydreams while others focus on tasks like math or geography. For instance, my wife frequently has to ring a cowbell to get my attention because my mind tends to wander.
However, there is an upside. People with ADD often possess creative imaginations. Historically, some of the greatest inventors and thinkers, such as Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, and Bill Gates, have exhibited symptoms of ADD. These individuals also struggled with traditional education systems, which couldn’t accommodate their unique ways of thinking. Interestingly, some spiritual leaders, like shamans, are thought to have similar traits. They claim to access wisdom from altered states of consciousness, helping others through dreams and rituals. While I am not endorsing shamanism, I recognize that an active imagination can be beneficial in certain professions.
It is curious to me that many executive training programs emphasize thinking “outside the box,” while ADD therapy often focuses on thinking “inside the box.” In reality, both require the same brain frequency associated with ADD.
Comedians are often the best examples of how individuals with ADD might navigate multiple realities simultaneously. Humor, at its core, is about presenting two conflicting perspectives. For example, a joke might describe a woman being abducted by a gorilla at a zoo. After her rescue, the woman expresses disappointment that the gorilla hasn’t contacted her, which contrasts the expected reaction. The humor comes from the sudden shift in perspective. This ability to see two sides of a situation is similar to how people with ADD process the world, which is why humor often comes naturally to us.
Yet, humor is subjective, and not everyone with ADD shares the same sense of humor or perspective. Some may interpret my posts as making light of serious issues, especially marriage struggles. My intention is not to belittle the challenges of living with ADD but to bring some levity to the situation. Marriage with an “ADDer” can be full of spontaneity and creativity at first, but the fun can quickly fade when the demands of traditional thinking and responsibility take over. At that point, it feels as though a joke has been played on both partners.
In conclusion, my posts aim to bring awareness to the complexities of ADD, particularly in marriage, while acknowledging the humor and creativity that often accompany the condition. I recognize that humor isn’t always the right approach for everyone, and I hope my future posts can strike a better balance between lightheartedness and the seriousness of the topic.
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