Friendships are crucial for mental health, and studies have shown their positive impact. But what happens when a friend is struggling? While there’s no perfect way to support a friend dealing with mental health issues, the key is to show that you care and are willing to help in whatever way they need.
It’s important to recognize that as friends, we are peers, not professionals. We cannot fix their problems or force them to talk or change. However, we can still offer support. Here are some simple ways students can help:
1. Start the Conversation
Reach out to your friend through a call, text, or by visiting them in person. You might say:
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“I miss you and want to hang out.”
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“I care about you.”
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“I’ve been thinking about you. Can we talk?”
2. Be Direct
When you’re together, share your concerns clearly. Specific examples help:
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“I noticed you haven’t joined us for board games this week.”
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“I haven’t seen you in class for a few days.”
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“You seem to be getting upset over small things lately.”
3. Use “I” Statements
Express your concerns from your perspective to avoid sounding accusatory:
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“I’m worried that something might be wrong.”
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“I’m concerned about you.”
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“I feel sad thinking you might be hurting.”
4. Focus on Listening
Give your friend space to speak, and show that you’re listening without judgment:
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“I’m here for you. Take your time.”
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“I hear you. What you’re going through sounds tough.”
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“Can you share more about how you’re feeling?”
5. Suggest Campus Resources
If necessary, guide your friend to professional help:
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“Maybe counseling could be helpful. Would you like me to walk you to the counseling center?”
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“This seems like a lot to deal with alone. You could get support at the Dean of Students’ office.”
6. Follow Up
After the conversation, offer continued support based on your relationship:
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“I’m heading to dinner. Want me to pick you up?”
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“We could study together at the library tonight.”
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“We’re ordering pizza this Friday, and I’d love for you to join us.”
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“I’m here for you. You don’t have to face this alone.”
Reaching out to a friend in distress takes courage. It’s normal to feel awkward or unsure about what to say. After supporting a friend, be sure to take care of yourself too.
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