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How Parents Can Help Calm Their Child’s Anxiety: 5 Simple Words

05/14/2025
in News
How Parents Can Help Calm Their Child’s Anxiety: 5 Simple Words

A 2024 study by the National Institute of Mental Health sheds new light on how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can change the brain activity of children with clinical anxiety. Researchers tracked the brain scans of anxious children before and after 12 weeks of CBT treatment. Initially, brain activity in areas like the amygdala and frontal lobes—regions linked to fear and overthinking—was elevated. After treatment, scans showed a noticeable decrease in activity, indicating a calming effect on the brain.

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This change goes beyond just easing symptoms; it signifies a shift in brain function itself.

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The Role of Therapy and Parental Support

The brain changes observed in the study were a direct result of structured CBT sessions with trained therapists. CBT is one of the most evidence-supported treatments for children with chronic anxiety and avoidance behaviors. Professional guidance is essential for this approach to be effective.

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However, as both a psychologist and parent coach, I emphasize that what happens outside of therapy also plays a crucial role. Parents can support their children by using emotionally regulating language and strategies. While this doesn’t replace professional therapy, it helps reinforce the calming habits children are learning during therapy.

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5 Simple Words to Calm Anxiety

Here are five powerful words that can help guide children through anxious moments, based on CBT principles:

  1. Name – “Name the worry.” Labeling the fear (e.g., “There’s my scared brain again”) creates distance between the child and their anxious thoughts.

  2. Reframe – “What else could be true?” Encouraging flexible thinking helps break the cycle of all-or-nothing thinking.

  3. Breathe – A simple pause and slow exhale can calm the body and, in turn, calm the mind.

  4. Challenge – “What’s the evidence?” Teaching kids to question runaway thoughts helps them confront irrational fears, like thinking “Everyone will laugh at me.”

  5. Step – “What’s one step I can take?” Focusing on small actions reduces the overwhelming nature of fear and avoidance.

The Power of Consistency

You don’t need to get the words perfect. The key is to use them consistently in a safe and grounded way. When parents reinforce the same calming techniques their children are learning in therapy, they create a powerful echo that amplifies the healing process. I’ve included these strategies in The Anxiety, Depression, & Anger Toolbox for Teens, and have received positive feedback from parents about how they reduce anxiety in their children.

The Takeaway

CBT is a proven and effective treatment for anxiety. But even if your child isn’t in therapy, the words you use can make a significant difference. By incorporating these five strategies into everyday life, you can help your child develop calmer thinking, emotional flexibility, and resilience that will last over time.

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